Ho'oponopono: The Ancient Hawaiian Path to Healing Relationships

Today is a New Moon… the opportunity for fresh energy to infuse your intentions and also today is a powerful alignment of seven planets affecting Earth and all who dwell here. I thought it would be a good day to introduce you to one of the most powerful clearing meditations I’ve ever come across. In another article perhaps I will share how I feel this has transformed, and begun to heal certain long held beliefs, and even how this practice has impacted my son who is preverbal autistic. I’ve seen some profound progress since I’ve been practicing this.

If you have some quiet time today I invite you to try this. Today is a powerful day for a reset and a clearing.

I introduce you to Ho'oponopono… an ancient Hawaiian practice that challenges our fundamental understanding of responsibility and connection. Ho'oponopono, which means "to make right," offers a radical approach to healing relationships – suggesting that the key to changing our interactions with others lies not in changing them, but in healing ourselves.

I will start with some extraordinary facts. The Revolutionary Case of Dr. Hew Len…Perhaps no story better illustrates Ho'oponopono's transformative power than that of Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len at Hawaii State Hospital's psychiatric ward. From 1983 to 1987, Dr. Hew Len achieved what many would consider impossible – he helped heal an entire ward of criminally insane patients without ever meeting them in person.

His method was remarkably simple yet profound. Each day, he would review patient files and practice Ho'oponopono, repeating the phrases "I'm sorry, please forgive me, thank you, I love you" while taking full responsibility for having created the reality that brought these patients into his awareness. Over four years, patients who had been shackled began walking freely, those heavily medicated required less medication, and many were eventually released. The ward, once known for its dangerous and stressful conditions, transformed into a peaceful environment and was eventually closed.

This case demonstrates Ho'oponopono's core principle: when we heal ourselves, we mysteriously but powerfully affect our relationships and environment.

The modern practice of Ho'oponopono centres around four simple but powerful phrases:

"I'm sorry" - Acknowledging that something within our own consciousness has contributed to the situation

"Please forgive me" - Seeking release from the patterns that created the discord

"Thank you" - Expressing gratitude for the opportunity to heal

"I love you" - Transforming negative energy through the highest vibration of love

These phrases, when practiced with deep intention and authenticity, work to clean the negative patterns and beliefs within us that manifest as relationship difficulties in our external world.

Ho'oponopono presents a radical shift in how we approach relationships. Instead of seeing interpersonal problems as something to be solved "out there," it suggests that everything we experience in our relationships is a reflection of our inner state. This means…

Taking total responsibility…Rather than blaming others or circumstances, we take 100% responsibility for our experience of relationships. This isn't about blame, but about recognising our power to heal situations by healing ourselves. When faced with relationship challenges, our work is to clean out our own negative thoughts, beliefs, and memories that are being triggered by the situation. The practice teaches that as we clear our inner world, divine Intelligence naturally rights our external relationships in ways we might not have imagined possible.

To apply Ho'oponopono to relationship healing, consider starting a daily practice and if you think you don’t have time then think on the saying ‘everyone should meditate for at least 10 minutes twice a day… unless you are busy, in which case make it an hour!’. That always cracks me up when I think about that!

Start each day by practicing the four phrases, focusing on relationships that feel challenging. This proactive approach helps prevent conflicts before they arise and more importantly resolves uncomfortable and painful internal states and THIS is the key to your own wellbeing in challenging situations.

When relationship tensions arise, rather than immediately engaging in potentially heated discussions, take time to practice Ho'oponopono first. This often leads to more peaceful and productive interactions.

Apply the practice to work relationships by quietly repeating the phrases during challenging meetings or when dealing with difficult colleagues. This couldn’t be more useful than for the shock and trauma being experienced right now by members of our community who have recently lost their jobs. I don’t try and simplify the pain that they are experiencing, merely recommending a POWERFUL tool for shifting our own mindsets so we can be effective and in a more positive mindset. I dare you to try it. Really… I’ve found it remarkable.

We can even use Ho'oponopono to address family dynamics by working on your own reactions and patterns rather than trying to change family members. It’s like magic!!!

As Dr. Hew Len's case demonstrates, the effects of Ho'oponopono can extend far beyond our direct interactions. When we genuinely engage in this practice our presence becomes more peaceful, affecting those around us. We trigger fewer reactive responses in others and our relationships naturally become more harmonious. We attract more positive interactions and old patterns of conflict begin to dissolve. I mean what is not to love??

While the metaphysical aspects of Ho'oponopono might seem abstract, research in psychology and neuroscience supports many of its principles from the perspective that forgiveness practices reduce stress and improve relationships. Research on mirror neurons (more articles to come on the FASCINATING nugget) suggests that our internal states directly affect those around us, and positive psychology research confirms the benefits of gratitude and love in relationship health.

To begin transforming your relationships through Ho'oponopono:

Start with Self-Relationship - begin by practicing the four phrases while focusing on self-forgiveness and self-love.

Expand the practice to visualise close relationships, especially when tensions arise.

Extend to all your connections! Gradually expand the practice to include all relationships, even brief encounters with strangers.

Trust the Process: Remember Dr. Hew Len's example – changes may occur in unexpected ways and timing.

Ho'oponopono offers a unique and powerful approach to relationship healing that begins with the only person we can truly change – ourselves. By taking complete responsibility for our experience and consistently clearing our own consciousness, we create space for profound healing in all our relationships. As Dr. Hew Len's remarkably mind blowing case shows, this inner work can lead to transformations that extend far beyond what we might imagine possible through traditional relationship strategies.

If you are going to do ANYTHING today please consider setting some positive intentions for your future. With the alignment and the New Moon  behind it, the energy vibrations point to the dismantling of old emotional structures and aligning to highest good for our individual development, and this process is never easy. Today is the day that will set the tone for years to come.

All my love

Athene x